Electric bikes help kids avoid uncool exercise
Originally published in July 2005, The Daily Sentinel, Grand Junction, Colo.
21st century Schwinn proves I’m not man enough to be a boy.
“The rebirth of cool has arrived,” the company claims in ads for the new Sting-Ray Electric. Yep, “electric,” as in a battery-powered motor.
Touting this bike as “the one your mama warned you about,” Schwinn says the motor working by itself will get a rider up to 14 mph. “Leave your buddies in the dust,” an ad says. “They’ll catch up. Maybe.”
Riders have the option of also pedaling, but leg motion is obviously uncool, so why do it? It’s not like they need the exercise; plainly, the proper attitude is all that’s required to develop muscles.
Then there’s the TV commercial, which I discovered during recent Disney Channel viewings. People who think of Disney in terms of “Snow White,” “The Jungle Book” or “Beauty and the Beast” see only part of the modern company. Those films earned a place in the heart of oldsters like me, but Walt’s company targets our kids with shows such as “The Suite Life of Zack and Cody,” “That’s So Raven” and my older girl’s favorite, “Kim Possible.”
Sadly, my wife and I have decided much of the channel’s allegedly family-oriented fare has no place in our living room, but we’ll let Kim in every now and then. We just wish she’d find a shirt that covers her belly.
Anyway, the commercial that has aired during “Kim Possible” shows a bunch of blank-faced boys bicycling in a rural area. All are probably riding Schwinns – maybe even the traditional, pre-“Rebirth of Cool” pedal-powered version of the Sting-Ray – and they’re joined by a roundish kid with thick black curls framing his face under his helmet.
The boy pumps the accelerator on the handlebar and moves through the others, taking his rightful place at their lead without moving a leg.
I’d say he was born to be wild, but no way, this boy’s too composed for that. He was born to cruise and take it seriously.
None of these kids so much as frowns, and I doubt they even know how to smile. The closest thing anyone shows to actual emotion is a vague scowl of envy at the boy whose electric motor gets him where he’s going without the risk of breaking a sweat.
Me, I laughed when I rode my bike as a kid. Gritted my teeth and pumped my legs. Cruising at 14 mph was OK for coasting down a hill, but I wanted dirt paths and jumps, and every now and then I even let myself look like a jerk by falling.
My friends and I were never told that instead of having fun, we could look tough.
These days, on the rare occasions I do the work needed to get my bike out on the road, I’m still too immature to ride it as coolly as those boys in the Schwinn commercial. I growl and work at it, sweat, chuckle, pant … whatever happens, I let it come.
Bike helmets – which I’d never even seen before high school – are a good thing and I’ll force myself to wear one. I also put one on my older girl while I walk along beside her on the training-wheeled cycle given to her by our generous neighbors.
Now, Schwinn has me wondering if I’m doing my daughter a disservice by teaching her to ride a bike in a way that requires actual movement on her part. In fact, my wife and I may be doing the wrong thing with both our girls, letting them outdoors to play on the swing set (I haven’t seen a swing with a motor yet, but it’s only a matter of time) and encouraging them to enjoy other forms of self-propelled entertainment.
If we’re not careful, neither of them will be prepared for the day when they’re called upon to take their place among the electric-powered elite.